


Serendipity

by carpelibris



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Red String of Fate, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 09:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4871656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carpelibris/pseuds/carpelibris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A chance meeting during a flight delay brings Finn and Rae together for the day. They part as friends each wishing for more time before parting ways between the years only to cross each others paths again and again, pointing them to the idea that maybe they weren't meant to just be bit parts in each other's lives, but something more.</p><p>I saw a prompt on tumblr from otpprompts, This is my take on it, hope it's ok.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

July 2000

In hindsight booking a red-eye flight was probably one of the more stupid decisions he’d made that month. Right next to agreeing to a lad’s weekend in Amsterdam with Chop, Archie, Barney and Little Al at the last minute in the first place, but it was a lie to say that he wasn’t at least looking forward to it. A bit. Work had been non-stop for weeks and by the time he’d got round to booking a flight out all that had been left were either at five in the morning or the one he was waiting on which was closer to two. Finn adjusted himself in the uncomfortable lounge seat, flexed the spine of his paperback and chewed on the corner of his thumb absently once he’d found his place and started to read the words over when the din of the chatter around him died down as the speakers played out the announcement bell.

‘Attention all passengers,’ the overhead voice clamoured from the crackling speaker above him. ‘We are sorry to announce that the following flights departing for: Vienna, Amsterdam, Birmingham, and Leeds have been delayed for approximately one hour. We apologise for any inconvenience, please be advised to check departure boards for further information.’

The collective groan from the seating lounge around him erupted as a few passengers rushed with their suitcases across the departure gates to the screens further down. Finn let out a quiet sigh and collected his holdall as a crowd had gathered in a cluster over at the information boards. Sure enough when he found his flight on the board above him the one forty-five to Amsterdam wouldn’t get him there for another two hours. At this rate Chop would beat him there and have already worked his way through the bars and clubs over there by the time he even got on the plane.

Rae had already been running late for the third time that day, she had a marathon sprint to check in after getting stuck in traffic on the way to the airport, then she couldn’t find her sodding passport in the check in queue and to top it off she got held up in the security line before she’d even had a chance to sit down. She’d only been at the airport for a few hours and she was already knackered. Uni had been finished for a week and she had three left before term started back to visit Chloe before she went back. Before that was her little sister’s fourth birthday which meant a welcome but long trip to Tunisia to visit her, her mum and Karim while the three of them were on holiday visiting Karim’s family. In hindsight an hour delay wasn’t a massive problem, a nuisance, but she had her Diskman to pass the time before everything got sorted out. She’d be on the way to ‘Sunny Stamford’ soon enough.

Famous last words.

Rae glanced up at the screen again and rolled her eyes in exasperation. The one hour delay for Leeds had changed into three. What was she supposed to do for another three hours? There hadn’t been an announcement that time and she had been distracted by the thought long enough not to notice the clacking sound of the high heels of one of the air hostesses as she made her way to a kiosk further down from where she sat. Rae watched as she clicked on the Tannoy and spoke into the microphone. 

‘Could all passengers departing on flights ML673, MA1271 and MH7419 please assemble at the information desk at gate twelve. That’s gate twelve for further information, thank you.’

Rae gathered her things and moved towards where a crowd had started to assemble haphazardly around the desk as people tried to push in to the front from all sides in mild panic. As she got closer to find out what was going on she could barely hear what was being said over the shouts of complaint and a few kids in front of her who were becoming more restless as the night wore on. A family of four made their way past her back to the lounge and Rae stepped out of her place in the mass to get their attention for a moment. ‘Sorry, what did she say?’

The brunette woman stopped her husband for a second while he tried to keep hold of his overtired sons as they squirmed in his grip and she looked back over at Rae. ‘She said they were having some equipment trouble and to collect a food voucher to get something to eat for the delay love.’ The woman moved to lift her son up around her waist where he closed his eyes to sleep and Rae couldn’t help but feel her own eyes straining to stay awake.

‘Thanks.’ Rae left them to return to her place in line and after another quick look around she saw that most of the shops and places to eat were closed. Out of the two places left open at that time of night, a French style self-service food hut and the usual coffee house chain, coffee seemed like the better idea if she wanted to remain conscious for the next flight. Rae slung her overnight bag over her shoulder, pushed it round to her back and reached near the end of the queue. While she waited she dug her mobile out from her bag and waited for the dial tone to ring though when Chloe picked up.

‘Rae?’ Chloe’s voice on the other end was quiet and gravelly and she felt a bit guilty for waking her up by the sounds of it.

‘Hi Chlo, sorry. I’m still on Tunisia time, didn’t mean to wake you.’

‘Everything ok?’

‘Yeah. I’m alright. Just wanted to give you a ring and let you know I’m gonna be a bit late getting back. There’s been a problem with the suitcase belt or something. I dunno, that’s what the couple beside me just said.’

‘Oh, you’re joking.’ She could hear Chloe huffing across the line. ‘What time are you getting here then?’

‘No idea,’ she stepped nearer the front where she could hear muttering of complaints the closer she got. ‘Look can I ring you properly tomorrow? It’s a bit mad here at the minute and I’m going to miss everything at this rate. I’ll talk to you later right?’

‘What if I came to collect you?’

‘Don’t be daft. It’s not that bad, get some sleep and I’ll ring you if anything changes but I’ll be back on Monday if I’ve got to walk there. Talk to you when I get there in the morning.’

‘Okay, look after yourself.’

‘Okay mum,’ Rae rolled her eyes at the phone.

‘Shut up Rae, you know what I mean.’

‘I know, I will. Night.’

‘Phone me if you need anything. I mean it.’ Rae hung up after the third promise that she would.

By the time she got near the desk the locusts had descended and she was flat out of luck. The couple in front of her wheeled their cases out of the way and she approached the desk where the hostess gave her a sympathetic tilt of her coiffed head. ‘Sorry, there aren’t enough vouchers for demand. I can clear you back through to arrivals, there’s more places open over there.’

‘You’re alright, thanks anyway.’ Her stomach protested but Rae pushed the feeling to the side and made her way past the people behind her back to her seat. A cursory glance around the lounge brought the welcome sight of a vending machine and the offering of some chocolate and a drink. It wouldn’t be a hot meal, but it was better than nothing. Rae stood in front of the coin slot and fumbled in her bag for her purse. She felt her stomach drop slightly at the empty loose change pocket as she shook her purse for any coins, nothing, great.

Feeling tired and defeated she moved to sit down across from the seats near the windows looking out onto the runways when someone crossed her path and held something out towards her. ‘Have mine,’ Finn passed her his dog-eared food voucher to her, his gaze fixed on the ground. He didn’t want to make a scene. He’d just noticed that she’d been one of the few who’d got there too late and missed out. It didn’t seem fair. ‘I’ve got stuff in here.’ He gestured inside his holdall and gave her a small one sided smile. He didn’t wait to hear her response and moved back to his seat.

‘Hold on,’ she caught up with him and held the slip of paper back out towards him, ‘I’ll sort something out, but thanks.’

‘No, I mean it. Look I don’t really need it Just take it.’

‘It’s fine, honestly.’ Rae stretched her arm out for him to take the paper but he just shook his head again getting annoyed at her stubbornness.

‘Would you feel better if we split something then?’

‘You don’t have to do that, it’s fine. Really.’ At this point she just wanted to sit down and sleep so she wasn’t in the mood to argue with a total stranger for much longer, attractive or not. Finn could almost hear his Nan and dad giving him a lifetime of grief if he didn’t get her to take him up on the offer so he pressed on.

‘Right, well everybody’s going across there anyway and I could use somebody to watch my stuff so-‘

It was only when another traitorous growl from her stomach caught his attention and he pressed the slip back into her hand that she realised that he wasn’t going to give up.

‘Alright, fine I’ll watch your stuff for you.’ this rate they’d be doing this back and forth till she agreed. It helped a bit that he didn’t come across as an axe murderer or anything, he just seemed like a normal bloke, for now anyway. She relented and followed him over to the coffee place and let out a sigh when she saw the length of the line winding out to the outside. The thought of waiting in it when she already felt like her limbs were deadening must have crossed her face.

‘I’ll wait in the queue if you want to watch the bags,’ his offer earned him a small smile of relief and Finn found the pair of them a seat and left his bag under one of the chairs as Rae sat down across from it and placed her own bag underneath her seat.

‘Right, I’m going to get some tea, so what do you want to drink?’

‘Can I have the same please? Thanks.’

‘What about to eat?’

‘Erm, just a sandwich is fine.’ Finn gave her a quick nod and joined the line. She settled into her seat and watched as the people around her sped past with their cases and the occasional cleaner or pilot walked by and zoned out completely when his voice cut through her trance.

‘Everybody’s getting the same thing, a panini and a hot drink. There’s a massive wait apparently so it might take a bit.’ Finn took his seat across from her and moved his bag out from under the chair. Rae watched as he pulled a packet of mints, some crisps and two chocolate bars out from his holdall and opened them out in the middle of the table and gestured for her to help herself while he shook a handful of crisps onto the palm of his hand and put the packet back on the table.

Rae took a mint. Her breath was probably strong enough to peel paint at this point.

‘Which flight were you on?’

‘Leeds, you?’

‘Amsterdam. I’ve got an uncle in Leeds, worked down with him for a bit when I moved down from Stamford.’ Not one of his better ideas, it had been hell. Nothing to do but go back to a depressing bedsit in his uncle’s house after eight hours scaffolding. He’d never let onto his dad, but he was right. He had been running away, and like he’d told him you just took your problems with you wherever you went when you didn’t face them. He was still wrong about him leaving college, college had actually been total bollocks.

‘That’s where I’m going,’ Rae brought his attention back to her and he caught her gaze for a second before she looked back down. ‘I live there. Well, I did. I moved to go to uni. I’m supposed to be visiting friend for half term. By the time I get out of here I’ll be heading back again.’

‘My dad and some of my mates still live there and I’ve got a flat nearer the town, did you move there recently? I don’t remember seeing you about in college and about.’ Finn tried to place her, sure if they’d crossed paths he’d have tried to talk. He’d have noticed somebody like her. She was hard not to, all that dark hair and pale skin with those expressive eyes glancing over at him when she thought he didn’t notice. She was something else.

‘No I was born there unfortunately,’ she pulled a face. ‘Used to go to The Swan a couple of times but it’s not my thing.’ Mostly because she felt like she stuck out like a sore thumb most of the time and the music was usually shit and she didn’t have the guts to go up and change it.

‘I would’ve seen you about then, my mate Chop gets us drinks at The Swan most weekends. Did you go to-’

They were interrupted by the barista calling their table to collect their order. Finn went to get up but Rae was already out of her chair. ‘I’ll get it.’ Rae could feel herself getting too comfortable in her seat. Too comfortable. If she didn’t move she’d end up vegetating and never get to her flight. When she got to the counter her face fell. Her tomato and ham Panini looked more like a black brick. Not in the mood to wait for another one or argue she collected the order tray and made her way back over to the table and sat back down.

‘Think they burnt mine a bit,’ Rae muttered dryly as a snicker of laughter erupted from the other side of the table.

‘They cremated it.’ Finn looked at her plate and raised his eyebrows at it incredulously.

Rae scrunched her eyes and shot Finn a look of mock annoyance and Finn held back another snicker. ‘It’s not funny-’ she tried to look serious and he just laughed harder then and she couldn’t hold hers in any longer as she poked at the charred contents of her plate. ‘It’s a former sandwich, it has ceased to be,’ she mocked and rapped the edge of it on the side of her plate and smirked at the clank it made.

‘Are you not going to send it back?’

‘I can’t be bothered. Too tired. It might not be that bad.’ She picked up her knife and attempted to cut into the blackened bread. Short of using a hacksaw it was inedible. With the way most of her today had gone it was really just the icing on the cake of a crap day.

Finn shook his head at her effort then without a word he pushed half of his Panini over towards her and bit into his. When Rae opened her mouth to protest he put his hand out while he couldn’t talk. ‘S’yours,’ he said finally while his mouth was still half full.

After a beat Rae sheepishly took the other half gratefully and they settled into a surprisingly comfortable silence as they ate. Maybe it was because she was so tired, but she almost felt comfortable finishing what was on her plate for once. One of the few hang-ups left over from being a teenager was eating in front of people. Friends and family were something she could manage, they didn’t care or make snide comments or faces if she so much as looked at a walnut whip. They didn’t make judgements like the ones she could sometimes still see in the faces of other people. She’d worked hard to get to a stage where she didn’t pick the darkest corner when she went out for lunch anymore or being embarrassed to order anything that wasn’t a soup. To a stage where she could collect her lunch and sit near the window at the café near her uni, but some days were harder than others.

It wasn’t quite as hard then with him sitting across the table at that moment. Probably because he seemed to be in his own world most of the time anyway; thinking hard about something from the furrowed brow he was sporting while he rooted through his bag for something. When she looked at him properly when she was sure he wasn’t looking her mouth dried up making her reach for her now tepid tea. He was, well, fit. More than fit, he was a bit of an Adonis really. Maybe it was easier, she reasoned, because there was no way he’d look at her in the same way she was looking at him then. He didn’t know her from Eve so there was no point in worrying about what he thought if she wasn’t going to see him again after this. That idea wasn’t quite as welcome. He had that quiet but thoughtful thing going with deep honey coloured eyes and the freckles starred across the bridge of his nose. There was a small scar there, a clear line from the top of his cheekbone. She glanced down to notice that under the jacket he’d been wearing earlier he had nice arms. Really nice and toned she couldn’t help but admire when her eye caught a familiar picture on one of the CDs currently in his hand.

‘Is that Be Here Now?’ Rae found herself asking after their plates were cleared away bringing the pair of them out of their separate thoughts.

‘You what? Yeah,’ he flipped over the cover to look at it again. ‘I was going to take Definitely Maybe, but my mate borrowed it the other month and I haven’t got it back.’

‘I’ve got it at home. I don’t let anybody borrow mine, not since the Blur fiasco.’

‘Blur fiasco?’

‘My mate borrowed one of their albums and spilled nail polish remover over it. It was ages ago. Melted the plastic stuff off the CD and it never played right again.’ Rae shuddered at the thought. She’d been devastated at the time. She’d saved up for ages and pleaded wither mum to get her to take her to the record shop to get it for weeks. Not as upset as Chloe who had bought her a replacement and a poster and card making it hard to stay annoyed at her. Rae smiled at the memory, she still had that card somewhere back home. ‘It was an accident, but never again after that,’ Rae shook her head.

Finn grimaced at the story in sympathy. He took all of what she said in and found himself wanting to ask her more. Usually he wasn’t one for talking. He was never good at talking, listening he could do no bother, but he hadn’t usually been one for small talk.

‘So, who were you backing on all that Blur versus Oasis stuff. You a Damon Albarn fan?’ Most of the girls at college had backed Blur. Rae shook her head and he perked his head up to listen.

‘Oasis, definitely. Damon’s alright, but Noel and Liam, they’re the real thing, they’re just normal blokes.’ Finn nodded in agreement.

‘I saw them play at Knebworth years ago and they were brilliant. Wish I could afford to see them again.’

‘You actually got tickets to Knebworth? You went, seriously?’ Rae didn’t bother hiding that she was impressed. ‘I couldn’t afford tickets, nobody would’ve went with me anyway.’

‘Yeah, me and my mates Chop, Archie and the lads from football drove down one summer. It were amazing.’ Finn bit back the reply that he would’ve went with her, had he known she’d been around back then. It was easy to talk to her, there wasn’t much else to do besides talk anyway as they waited, but he had enjoyed her company. At that moment he wished he could have had more time.

As if someone had heard his thoughts the Tannoy across from them blared out with the monotone voice of one of the stewards. ‘This is an announcement for flight MH7419 departing for Leeds. If ticket numbers one though thirty would like to make their way to gate six we have begun boarding. That’s flight MH7419 departing for Leeds, ticket numbers one through thirty to gate six.’

‘That’s me,’ Rae sighed. ‘I better get going before there’s a stampede again.’ Rae twisted back to face Finn and pulled her bag up into her lap to get her ticket. She hoped she’d managed to mask her disappointment enough, it was stupid to want a bit more time to chat. She didn’t know this bloke from Adam. She needed to get home. ‘Hope you enjoy Amsterdam.’

‘You too- I mean, hope you get home all right.’ Finn pulled out his chair and then felt foolish just standing there gawping.

‘Thanks er-’ She realised she hadn’t got his name.

‘Finn, sorry. It’s Finn. I should’ve asked.’

‘Rae,’ she gave him a small wave with her hand. ‘Thanks. For the drink and that I mean. I would’ve been bored stiff stuck here by myself.’

‘No problem, it was a laugh.’ When the words left his mouth he groaned internally, he sounded like a right knobhead.

‘It was,’ Rae found herself nodding with a large smile. It had been nice while it lasted. She shifted her overnight bag onto her shoulder properly and shifted from one foot to the other, not sure what she was waiting for, but not wanting to move just yet. ‘Right well I’d better head off.’ Rae gestured down towards the gate.

‘Yeah, right– yeah.’

‘Nice talking to you.’

‘Nice meeting you too.’ Finn watched as she turned to go, his gaze moved from her eyes to the back of her glossy dark hair waving down her back and to her retreating form get further and further away from him as she made her way out to her gate. If he’d have been braver he might have asked for her number.


	2. Chapter 2

August 2002

‘So, you’re a graduate from Hull Univesity?’her interviewer peered down at her from the table, her grey trouser suit crinkling as she folded her arms over.

‘I graduated last year,’ Rae agreed and not for the first time she wished she’d brought some water with her to drink. Her mouth felt like sand under the other woman’s gaze and she squirmed in her seat.

‘I don’t see anything here about your experience,’ as if to make a point she turned the pages of her CV over and looked back to her with eyes that could burn a hole through concrete.

‘Well, I don’t have any in practice but can I just-‘

‘So you don’t have any publishing experience we asked for on the application?’

‘If…if I could just explain what’s on my-‘ Rae was cut off before she could even finish.

‘I'm sorry but think we've maybe heard enough,’ the other woman peered over to either side of her to the close to invisible interview panel who simply nodded in a silent agreement. ‘We’re looking for someone with quantifiable practical experience. We’ll keep you on file for our other entry level positions.’

The three of them stood up then and it was game over. Rae seethed internally and scrambled up from her chair and held out her hand. ‘Thank you for taking the time to see me, for the opportunity.’

They’d ushered her out like a bad smell and Rae kept reliving the conversation in a loop for days after. Wondering what she could have said if she’d had the chance. If she could have got a word in she could tell them how she more than made up for any practical experience with the extra work she’d done on her course and the unpaid work she’d been doing for the past year. It hadn't even been marked as an essential, experience was just a desirable bonus.

A phone call to her mum an hour later had brought a small amount of comfort once she’d got her red eyes and cheeks and anger under control as she tried not to upset herself over it anymore.

‘Miserable old cow,’ her mum had called the interviewer from the other end of the line. The reception wasn't great but it was nice to talk. She missed her mum at times like this and even with the delay, although neither of them were the type to admit as much. They were never going to be that family that sent sappy Christmas cards or hugged. ‘You’re best shot of the lot of them then if they’re going to act like their poxy office job is good enough for a clever girl like you.’ Rae rolled her eyes and pulled a face at her mum’s words and adjusted the handset over her ear again. ‘Did you get the money I wired for you?’

‘Yeah, I cashed it the other month.’

‘Right well you can book yourself a ticket over here and with us for a few days. You know Karim’s family are happy to put you up with the rest of us. Take your mind off it.’

‘I’ll think about it.’

‘You can mind your sister when we go out, earn your keep. It’s not a charity you know.’ there was the catch Rae had been waiting for.

‘I can try and get something for that next Friday after this, no promises.’

‘Alright love, I’d give you another ring but you know how expensive it gets. We’d be better off getting some string and two cans at this rate’.

They said their goodbyes and hung up for the night. Two weeks came and went and Rae once again found herself on the earliest flight out to Madrid and then stopping over there to get a connecting flight through to Turkey where Karim would pick her up and take her to her mum for another flyby visit.

The departure lounge where she was currently sat wasn’t meant as somewhere you’d want to stay, but it was even less welcoming when it was quiet and she was left alone with her thoughts. If she’d have been paying attention she’d have taken notice of the other passenger in the seats a little further down.

From his seat Finn could see the heat waving up from the runway tarmac in transparent waves. Madrid was a sweltering 30 something degrees. So naturally he’d decided to wear an old Henley shirt, jeans and boots. He hadn’t exactly been thinking all that clearly when he left the hotel that morning. Clothes were the least of his problems.

‘Me and Ashley are going round to the beach with everybody later on, do you think you can manage actually talking to my mates for once this week?’

‘I s’ppose.’ He heard her take in a sharp breath, he really should have seen it coming.

‘You know what I’m done.’

‘You what?’

‘I can’t keep doing this with you. I’m fucking sick of it.’

‘What-‘Finn stuck his head out from the bathroom door, toothbrush still in hand. ‘Sick of what?’

‘I’m sick of us, sick of you.’ She closed the wardrobe over close to slamming it.

‘You’ve been a moody prick from the second you got here and I can’t be arsed trying anymore. For Chrissake if you hate being here with me so much why don’t you just sod off then? I’ll help you pack.’ Hannah darted to the pile of clothes on the bed, grabbed them up in her arms and tossed them out of the balcony windows before Finn even had the chance to register what had just happened.

‘Stop, Hannah. Just stop.’

‘Piss off, just get out.’

Three months, eight days and two hours he and Hannah had lasted. It shouldn’t have been that surprising. Two weeks away anywhere weren’t going to just magically fix everything. He knew they hadn’t been clicking for a while, it just wasn’t there. Whatever ‘it’ was. He did like her, he did, but there just wasn’t anything between them past the random trips back to the room when the quiet got too obvious. He just didn’t expect it all to end with a blazing row and half of his things taking flight over the balcony. The sooner he got home the better, he could be ‘a moody prick’ there without judgement.

Which led him back to where he was now; stuck on standby for the nearest flight out of the place.

Finn ran his hands over his hair and rested his elbows on the edge of his knees and stared out from where he sat when he saw her. Not sure if his brain had decided to conjure a familiar face with some kind of wishful thinking he stayed where he was as he looked over.

She was sat further down with a pen in her hand and a notepad on her lap, getting lost in whatever she was writing. Her dark hair spilled over the sheet until she pushed it back behind her ear. Finn looked away and smoothed his hand over his face. No, it wouldn’t be her, it had been over a year and it was about as likely as, well, it was just unlikely.

He wasn’t sure who made contact with who as their eyes finally met. Wasn’t even sure if she’d even recognise him till he saw her move towards him and look over at him with the same expression. Half curiosity half caution.

‘You again, stalker or what?’ She must have seen the panic on his face because her face broke into a friendly smile as she got closer and he scrambled to stand up. ‘I’m joking. Hiya, how are you? ’

‘Alright? Yeah,’ he pulled at the hem of his shirt, ‘I’ve been alright. What are you doing here?’

‘Waiting for the connection to Turkey for a bit then through to Tunisia again.’

‘Nice one’ his voice managed a rasp before he cleared his throat. ‘I’m just headed home.’

‘How was Amsterdam?’ He raised his eyebrows at the question and she felt a bit embarrassed that she even remembered.

‘It was alright.’ He smiled at her. He needed to stop saying that word. ‘Bit mad,’ understatement of the year. A week of pub crawls round the canals with Chop leading the way. ‘But yeah. It was good.’ They stayed where they stood, neither knowing what to do when the green lettering on the screen moved out of the corner of Finn’s eye and he looked away from her.

‘I’ll leave you to it then.’ Rae sent him a small smile and turned to go.

‘Hang on, Rae.’ He caught up with her in two strides. ‘Have you got long?’

‘About half an hour,’ Rae checked her watch and looked up at the board to check again. He had remembered her name, she supressed a smile.

‘Do you-d’you fancy getting something to eat again? You don’t have to I just thought,’ Finn didn’t know how to finish that sentence. I just wanted to see you again. To talk again.

‘Yeah, I think I owe you at least one drink or something for last time.’

‘Anybody else would’ve done the same.’

‘Not really, no. It was a crap day till then.’

‘Right well,’ that had stumped him. He adjusted the bag strap across his shoulder, ‘there’s that bar further back if you wanted to,’ he pointed over to the pub down near the end.

‘Go on then’.

He led the pair of them over to the bar and after a glance at the menu they put in an order for a two chicken wraps, a side of chips and drinks and then took a booth looking out onto the runway.

‘Do you travel a lot, to Tunisia?’

‘Yeah, my mum tries to take my sister there as much as she can. She’s thinking about moving there now I’m done with uni.’ He waited as she took a sip of her drink and continued. ‘Karim’s offered to get me a job with one of his brothers over there’. Finn felt his shoulders slump.

‘He’s my mum’s husband,’ she finished and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. ‘It’s a nice offer but I’m not good with the heat’.

‘So you’re staying here then, back in England I mean?’

‘Yeah, well, hopefully in Nottingham. I had an interview a publishing house down there. Can’t see myself getting a call back though.’ Rae smoothed her hair behind her ear, why was she even telling him any of this? The interview lasted all of fifteen minutes with a panel of three. Fifteen minutes of sitting on the world’s lowest chair while they picked apart her CV, making her more than aware of how hilariously underqualified she was.

‘You’ve probably done better than you think.’ He chipped at the bottle label beside him giving Rae time to judge what he might have been thinking. ‘I’m no good with words, but you’ve probably done alright. I’d hire you’. Brilliant, that didn’t just sound in the least bit creepy. Nice one you pilllock.

‘Thanks. Were you staying near here?’

‘Yeah, just for a couple of days with my girlfriend, but I had to come home early.’

‘Oh.’ Of course he had a girlfriend. Of course he did, Rae tried to hide a traitorous stab of disappointment and took a sip of her drink.

‘We split up.’ Finn wasn’t sure if he imagined the look that crossed her face as he said it. She almost looked relieved.

‘Sorry.’

‘It’s ok, it wasn’t really going anywhere.’

‘Oh’ was all she could manage then.

‘We didn’t have anything to talk about and it just wasn’t,’ he searched for the right words and came back emptyhanded. He wasn’t sure what the problem was, couldn’t place it. There just wasn’t anything there after the post-pub buzz and the quiet lull of creased bedsheets and stifled conversations that died on each other’s lips. ‘There was nothing to talk about. We just weren’t right for each other’ he shrugged not meeting her eyes. ‘It’s just how it is I s’ppose.’

‘Then it’s her loss,’ Rae muttered low enough so he wouldn’t hear.

‘It was my fault I think. I screwed up.’ He shouldn’t even have been telling her any of this, they didn’t really know each other. Maybe it was just easier to talk to people that weren’t in your life, not that he would have minded if she were, because there weren’t any expectations hanging over you. It was easier talking to strangers than your own mates. There was nothing to prove, he could be himself.

‘Maybe we can both be screw-ups together then.’

He smiled at her earning him a bright smile in return when the plates arrived. They ate in silence for a while until Finn spoke again, wanting to know more.

‘What were you writing?’ Finn looked down at his plate. ‘You were writing something earlier. I wasn’t staring. I just noticed when you’d been sitting across from…’ Finn trailed off. He said the wrong thing, he could see her gaze fall to the table and kicked himself.

‘Oh, that.’ Rae shifted in her seat, ‘I wasn’t writing anything really. I just write everything down, whatever I’m thinking at the time. I don’t even think about it most of the time. It’s more of a habit now than anything else. I thought about getting into writing and that but-I dunno.’

‘Novels and poems and that?’

‘Yeah, but I can’t see it happening. What about you, what did you want to do after college, did you go to Stamford College?’

‘I’ve still got no idea,’ he said honestly. ‘I did, I chucked it early and went down to work with my uncle in Leeds for a bit. I hated it, scaffolding wasn’t exactly the dream’. Finn looked over at her to see her nodding along, listening attentively. ‘Then I just took a job back at home with my mate because I didn’t know what I wanted to do’.

‘I was supposed to go to Bristol,’ she offered, ‘my mum was off on one about how I’d be the first in the family to go and I got all caught up in it and-‘ She shook the thought off, ‘but it didn’t work out, so I took some time out to figure out what I wanted to do. I wasn’t in the right place for it, you know?’ Rae paused and Finn nodded so she continued. ‘Then I applied to Hull to do English Lit for a bit and now I’m just trying to figure out what I’m doing.’ She pushed what was left of her salad around on her plate intently. ‘Something will come up, I think it’s just because college and that expects you to do everything like they want you to. College-Uni-job kind of thing. Not everybody wants that, you know?’ Finn nodded again then they fell into another silence filled with clearing their plates and finishing their drinks.

‘I’d have liked to do something with the radio’ he started again. ‘Like a late night slot playing tunes.’

‘Like what?’

‘Like Oasis, the Roses and the Rolling Stones and that. Only the good stuff, none of the crap.’

‘Sounds good, no crap FM.’

‘Exactly.’

‘Well, you’ve got one listener already. Most of the other stuff is shit. Makes me want to pull my eardrums out with a fork.’ She smiled at his reaction which was to raise his eyebrows in agreement and then she remembered. ‘What time is it?’

Finn looked at his watch. ‘Just gone twenty past.’

‘I should get a wriggle on,’ Rae realised, much to her disappointment. ‘I’m away at half past.’

‘Right, yeah.’ He couldn’t hide the tone of regret in his voice.

He watched as she got out of her seat, give him a wave and move down back towards the entrance. He was running out of time again. There was never enough time. She was leaving again and before he knew what he was doing he was out of his seat and padding over to catch up with her. He needed to see her again. He needed to ask, she could only say no. ‘Rae.’

‘Yeah?’ she looked down to her forearm when he realised his hand was touching her and the words on his lips fell away.

‘I er, I hope it all goes well for you.’

‘You too, something will come up. I mean weirder things have happened.’

‘Yeah, you’re right,’ he laughed sheepishly. ‘Thanks’,

‘Well, nice meeting you, again’.

‘Yeah, it was good talking to you.’

‘You too.’ She waited for a beat, hoping he might have said more, like if she ever went back to Stamford they could chat somewhere properly, but it was about as likely as-well it was just never going to happen. Don’t be stupid Rae. She turned to go and sent him a quick wave again as she left for her gate.

Finn watched he as she left, rooted to the spot and dragged a hand through his hair, cursed himself under his breath and looked away. If he’d have looked back he might have been able to see her run her arm over the spot where he’d touched her before she diminished out of sight for a second time.


	3. Chapter 3

December 2003

Finn had waited hours after she left before he got anywhere near home. It left him time to think. Time to think about the words that had been right there before they had evaporated into the air.

It wasn’t a good time, wouldn’t be fair just to jump into anything, not then. It was just the not knowing that did him in. She probably would have said no or cried off at the last minute or something, just to save it being awkward; but even then he would know that that door was closed, he’d have the peace that came with it. He’d driven himself half mad thinking about it for days and weeks after the fact. The things he could have and should have said. All the ways his life could have gone differently if he’d have been braver. That he had let it all slip right through his fingers. Twice.

It had all came to a head that month round the pub when he had asked Chop and Archie if they knew anybody named Rae while they’d all been at school or even about.

‘You still banging on about that?’ Finn chipped at the label on his lager rather than look Chop in the eye. ‘Ask Izzy, she’d know,’ Chop nudged her, interrupting her conversation with Archie. ‘Izz.’

‘What?’

‘That bird Finn keeps going on about went to your college. Did you know anybody about named May?’

‘Rae,’ he murmured up from staring at his shoes. 

‘Sorry mate, Rae?’

‘Erm,’ Izzy thought about it for a while before she answered. ‘Not really,’ she shook her head and then the thought came to her, ‘but Chloe from Biology and Drama had a best mate called Rae, I think it was Rae anyway. I haven’t seen her in a bit though so I’m not sure, sorry.’ 

‘It’s alright Izz.’ The four of them went back to their drinks but Izzy looked over at him every now and again while he was lost in his own thoughts and tried to think about what Chloe had said about her. Maybe Lisa from English would know, she knew everybody. Or maybe she could see if Chloe still lived at home and ask her.

He had dropped the whole thing after that and tried to put it behind him. There was no way they would have been the same person. It felt strange chasing someone like that anyway so he dropped it after that. Even if it she been the same person it didn’t mean he had any right to just show up. ‘I met you ages ago at the airport for two seconds and I think one of your mates knows mine. I really like talking to you and I think you’re world class and-and just- I don’t like talking to anybody and you’re just-I think we might have something if you wanted to go out if you’re ever back in Lincolnshire, fancy it?’ probably would have went down like a led balloon.

The rest of the year passed uneventfully till he’d decided to pack in his job a few months later and land himself the chance to go somewhere where he could work with music. He’d managed to keep it to himself for most of the time till he’d decided to let Chop know, so long as nobody knew about it till after the interview in case he tanked it. Not that Chop had given him any choice. 

They’d all been assembled around their usual corner at the Swan when Chop blurted it all out over the second round of drinks.

‘Finn’s got news, haven’t you lad?’

‘I wasn’t going to say anything till after,’ Finn seethed at Chop quietly.

‘Sorry,’ Chop put his hands up in apology and pulled down the corners of his mouth, ’thought they’d get excited for ya.’

‘What? What is it?’ Izzy and Archie said within seconds of each other as they all turned their gaze to him and he squirmed in his seat.

Bloody Chop and his big mouth. ‘I’ve got this interview for this thing out of Stamford for a bit.’

‘That’s brilliant. Doing what?’ Archie glanced over to look at Finn, glad he had finally got a wriggle on and done something he actually wanted to do with his life.

‘What, you’re leaving us?’ Izzy sat up and looked over at him and he tried not to meet her eyes.

‘It’s just running about after people and plugging things in at this radio station for a bit, just a couple of months. It’s nothing much.’

‘Are you not proper excited? You’re good at all that music stuff. I’m really happy for you Finn,’ Izzy grinned and moved out from her seat to give him a hug across the arms and smiled over at him and Archie, pulling a face at Chop.

‘Doesn’t mean I’ll get it, it’s just an interview.’

‘They’d be total mugs if they didn’t pick you. You’ll walk it.’ Chop clapped him on the back

‘Cheers mate.’

That was four months ago and he still couldn’t figure out how his luck could have turned around like that to where they’d actually hired him. Last year he probably would have laughed at anybody giving him the idea of doing any of it. It was funny how some things worked out that way. They’d all been down at the pub again the week before he was set to fly down.

‘Right, I’ve got an announcement.’ Chop drummed his hands on the table, a wicked grin spreading across his face. ‘Our Izzy’s got an empty.’

‘Chop-’ Finn tried not to groan.

‘Just a small cheeky get together just to see you off.’

‘Chop-’ the last thing Finn wanted was more attention about it.

‘I were only going to invite the four of us and some of Izzy’s mates from dance and a couple from about-’

‘Chop’.

‘It’s already sorted so none of you are backing out, fact.’

There was no use arguing. Of course a couple of people from about meant half the bleedin’ country all crammed into Izzy’s. To be fair on Chop it was a good send off and he did have a decent time; even if he’s spent most of it being a grumpy sod beside the hi-fi. He had the rest of the weekend to recover from the hangover and headed down for his first day that Sunday.

Finn was heading home while he could get a flight back before the Christmas rush. The only problem was being bored senseless as he stared out of the window seat and out onto the unending plumes of white clouds blocking any view of the early evening sky or the view below as they flew.

Rae shifted uncomfortably in her seat looking out onto the aisle. She couldn’t find room to fit her holdall for all the cases and a coat from the row in front of her, blocking the overhead compartment. So she’d had to squeeze hers in further back and put some of her clothes and things into her carry-on bag under her seat which made her tall frame crammed between the space between the row. Eventually she had to get up and stretch her much abused knees and take out her work notes. She scanned the first few pages quickly and looked it over before carefully sliding it back into her bag as the air hostesses made their way up the aisle with the duty free trolley.

Rae had been working with Mark at Harkins Publishing House for just over a year and a half, not long after that disastrous interview with that women. She’d slogged her way through application after application getting nowhere, to the point of giving up when she started writing small pieces for local papers and bits of freelance work that she got approached to ghost write for a new start-up publisher and she’d all but jumped at the chance.

‘The first draft is looking good,’ her editor closed over the last page of the manuscript and clasped his hands over it. ‘You could cut down on the larger words maybe so it sounds more like him, but yeah’, he gave her a nod of approval, ‘it’s all looking great, Rachel is it?’

‘Thanks, yeah, it’s Rae.’

‘Right, well if you can have a finalised draft done for after the New Year we can move everything forward and you’ve got your first title credit.’

‘That’s, that’s brilliant. Thanks very much.’

Mark handed her the manuscript back and she tucked it just under her arm to shake his hand and exited his office fizzing with something she couldn’t quite put a name to yet. It was a start, things were just starting to come together for once.

It wasn’t any of her own work, that was the catch, but it was a start. A much needed foot in the door. It was just a bit weird reading somebody else’s thoughts like that on paper, like she was looking at something she shouldn’t. Something private, but she had read through it all and arranged most of it into what passed for a decent first draft.

The rest of the year seemed to speed by and eventually she’d booked the earliest flight back home to see her mum, Karim and her sister in time for Christmas and New Year. The idea of seeing them again made her happy, even if it meant going back to Stamford to do it. Plus Chloe would be there and she’d missed being able to just walk over, just to be able to talk face to face.

She’d gone back last year after her mum had decided against moving to Tunisia and they were all settled back at home. Rae had gone to stay with them for a while, just till she decided what she was going to do, maybe see some familiar faces, the welcome ones at least. Chloe had invited her round to some friend of a friend’s party one Friday, some going away thing, she hadn’t been listening. The chance of that died a death around the time the whole house apart from her had caught some sort of stomach bug and the only chance of seeing anybody got shot down unless it was at the shops or round the chemist.

‘Rae, where are you?’ Rae had barely picked up the phone when Chloe’s voice cut in.

‘It’s up-chuck central over here. I’m stuck.’

‘Just sneak out,’ she could hear the annoyance underneath Chloe’s plead and rolled her eyes.

‘I can’t,’ as if on cue Rae heard someone run to the bathroom upstairs to throw up for the umpteenth time.

‘Please babe, I’m not going by myself.’

‘Chlo, just go.’

‘I need you to come with me, I haven’t got anybody else.’

‘You know I’d just be sat there for hours like I’m chuffing invisible while you talk with your mates. I don’t even know any of them anyway.’

‘Whatever Rae,’

‘Why do you always do this?’

‘I’m only asking you to come out.’

‘You’ve always got to make me feel like your shadow, I’m not. I don’t have to follow you about everywhere. You’re always guilting me into things. ’

‘Maybe we shouldn’t even be mates then if that’s how you feel.’

‘Fine,’ Rae had snapped down the phone at her.

‘Fine.’ The pair of them slammed the phone down on each other.

They hadn’t spoken for weeks after that, neither of them wanting to budge. Until her mum made her call her because that’s what you did, even when they were being a total cow and driving you mental, you forgave them. That’s what best mates did. Even when you wanted to throttle them.

This time she wouldn’t have to do her best Florence Nightingale spinning plates impression for her next visit home. She settled in for the flight home as the hostesses started handing out tea and coffee down the aisles. Rae had just put her tea down on the tray and went to unbuckle her seatbelt when the seat in front of her jerked back spilling the entire meal tray onto her, including the mercifully tepid tea.

‘Are you alight darlin’?’ The older woman in the seat beside her took the empty plastic cup across to her tray and lifted Rae’s back up onto the back of the seat. She handed her a pack of tissues which Rae took with a quiet thanks as she mopped at her top and hair. ‘You want to watch what you’re doing, you near scolded that girl.’ Passengers in the rows around them turned around to see what was going on much to her embarrassment, but the man sat in front of her merely glanced behind him to look at her as she tried to wring the tea out of the ends of her hair for a few moments and then went back to reading his broadsheet.

‘It’s alright.’ It wasn’t. She just didn’t want to draw any more attention, especially since the front of her top had become somewhat transparent and clung to places she’d rather not have on show. She took her bag out from under her the chair in front and pulled the still soaking top away from her chest and manoeuvred her way through the narrow aisle space towards the bathrooms at the back of the plane.

Rae struggled to pull the sticking damp fabric away from her skin in the tight confinements of the bathroom and rummaged around in her handbag for her spare top and pulled it on over her head. Slightly creased, but at least it was dry. She took a quick look in the mirror and tried to give herself a nod of approval, it would do for now.

After wasting as much time as she could in the stall till she heard movement outside Rae stepped back outside and contemplated staying near the back of the plane for the rest of the flight. It was infinitely more appealing than heading back to a still damp seat, or the twat in front.

If she hadn’t decided to wander for a few more minutes she wouldn’t have noticed the familiar figure sprawled out in his seat as he stared out the window.


	4. Chapter 4

December 2002

He was sat right there. It was definitely him, the light hit him at just the right angle so his hair shone around the edges where the sun touched it. His profile even from the side was unmistakable as he turned his gaze to the outside.

He was sat there. Right there at the end of the row at the window, eyes half glazed over as he drifted into his own thoughts. Into his own world.  
Rae fidgeted where she stood, not knowing what to do. She pulled on her sleeves and the hem of her top and scrunched her face, wincing at the damp state of her trousers and hair and contemplated whether to just sneak down the aisle or slide into one of the rows a little further back. She took a step forward and something moved from out of the corner of her eye. When she turned to look moving was no longer an option.

He was looking right at her now, with an expression she couldn’t quite read. He was right there. He was there and he was looking at her and she looked like a soggy Robert smith impersonator. Of course, of bloody course. Oh Bollocks.

She met his gaze and the pair of them stayed where they were, unmoving. It was probably seconds but it felt like minutes, each of them working out what to do, what to say. Finn stayed rooted to his seat. She was so close and he couldn’t move. ‘Rae?’ Finn was the first to break the silence, his voice was gravelled slightly, almost like he’d been about to fall asleep. He’d pulled his headphones off and looked out at her from the end of the row. His head was tilted slightly, eyes dark.  
‘Hiya,’ she gave him a sheepish smile.  
His face broke out into the brightest smile at her and for a moment she forgot everything else. ‘What are you-’ he smiled wider as he moved out to get closer to her his voice an octave higher than usual, ‘what are you doing here?’  
‘Heading back home for a bit,’ she managed before she collected herself and gave him a teasing look, ‘I just can’t get rid of you can I?’  
‘Look who’s talking’ he scoffed, he cleared his throat and his voice lowered. ‘Where are you sitting?’  
‘Down there,’ Rae pointed down to the seat number on the overhead lockers a few rows down and glanced down at the seat next to him. ‘Can I sit here for a bit?’  
‘Course.’ Finn darted back to his seat and cleared away the book, magazine and Discman away and pulled the armrest up so the seats so they all spread out into one. Rae gave him a grateful smile and sat down next to him putting her bag on the floor beside her.  
‘Looks like you just can’t get shot of me.’  
‘I’m sure I’ll cope,’ he looked over at her, his eyes crinkled, beaming.  
‘I’ll move when whoever’s sitting here comes back.’  
She was right there. Close enough that Finn could pick up the scent of perfume in her hair. ‘No,’ he realised how odd his voice had sounded then and shook his head for her to stay. ‘You don’t have to. You can stay here if you want to’.  
‘What about their seat?’ Rae looked around behind them for a sign of whoever had left, but the aisle was empty now and everything had quietened as the shade of the evening sky seeped in through the windows, colouring everything in shades of deep blue and yellow from the front and back cabin lights.  
‘Think he moved up there to sit with his kids.’ Finn craned his neck back to check. Right enough his neighbour was sat with two toddlers as he read to them while the woman in the row opposite slept with their toy bag perched precariously on her lap.  
Finn watched as Rae followed his eye line, her head turning with her hair falling down her back on one side. She turned back around and he noticed that the ends of her dark hair had curled at the ends in tendrils and resisted the urge to touch one of them when something caught his attention and he glanced downwards to her shirt.‘You’ve got-‘  
‘-it’s just tea’, Rae’s eyes widened, ‘it’s tea. The prat in front jerked the chair back and it went everywhere.’ She pulled the hem of her top down and fidgeted with her sleeves.  
‘I mean you’ve got glitter on your top and here.’ He pointed to the side of her face and made to bring his hand up to wipe it away before he thought better of it and dropped it back down.  
‘Right’, Rae breathed, not sure whether to be relieved or embarrassed and took hold of her sleeve and wiped away at that side and swept the other glimmers away from her top.  
‘That it?’ She gave her clothes a once over and swept at her top and the top of her trousers.  
‘Hang on,’ Finn brought his hand up properly and wiped the last few specs off from the side of her face. Rae flinched at his touch, the heat of him sending a charge running its way through her. He moved away again and she almost shivered despite the warmth of the cabin.  
‘It’s probably from this,’ she backed away to collect herself and bent over to unzip her bag to find the picture. She rummaged around till she felt the crinkle under the fabric and her things and unfolded the paper carefully so the loose glitter would fall onto the aisle and opened it out to show him. On it was a smiling cartoon figure of her covered in purple glitter and black pipe cleaners glued down for her hair. It was covered with all her sister’s favourite stickers for a border and a lion’s head in the top corner for the sun. She’d watched her make it for her, feeling proud at how similar they were getting. Her mum had her work cut out for her and she almost felt sorry for her. ‘My sister made it for me last time I was home.’  
‘It’s good’ Finn finally managed. ‘I like the lion.’  
‘Yeah, she’s got a thing about them just now’ Rae titled her head to look. ‘It’s weird, she draws a bit like me when I was a kid. Doodles and stuff on jotters and notebooks and that.’ She folded it away carefully again back in her bag and sat back.  
‘Do you still write?’  
‘I do, kind of. I’m ghost writing this book for somebody. I’ve no clue who he is but he’s on TV I think, so I’m fixing all the spelling mistakes and sorting it all out so they can publish it.’  
‘How long are you staying in Stamford?’  
‘Till after New Year. What about you, what are you gonna do?’  
‘Same thing, head home to Stamford for a couple of weeks, visit my dad and my mates.’  
‘I haven’t been back to Stamford in ages’ Rae mused. ‘Not since the other year. My mate wanted me to go this party over at her friend’s, Izzy I think. Her boyfriend has these massive parties. It was for this “sexy sayonara party,” she laughed quietly, ‘somebody’s leaving do I think, and all that stuff, usually round everybody else’s house,’ he was smart that way, ‘but I didn’t go. Everybody was ill and my mum needed me to watch my sister.’ It dawned on Finn quickly after that and he. They’d been minutes away from meeting each other and he hadn’t had a clue, he’d narrowly missed her again. He couldn’t let it happen this time.  
‘That was Chop’ he nodded, not sure what to make of any of it. ‘How do you know Izzy?’  
‘I don’t. She was friends with my best mate.’  
‘That was a leaving do for me’ he admitted. ‘I think I’ve met you’re mate a couple of times at The Swan and that ages ago. Chloe I think.’  
‘Are you messing with me?’ Rae moved back towards the aisle and shot him a disbelieving look.  
‘I’m not, Chop and Izzy are my mates.’  
‘Don’t mess with me.’  
‘I swear, I’m not,’ he answered sincerely.  
‘Seriously? How did I not see you about before then, ages ago?’  
‘I’ve got no idea, crap luck.’  
‘I suppose we’ll be seeing each other about then, if you know Chloe.’  
He hoped so, more than anything. ‘I’m supposed to meet them in the pub tomorrow night, if you wanted to come,’ he offered.  
‘Yeah’ she agreed a little too quickly. ‘I’m meeting Chloe at hers, but I can ring her and see if maybe she wants to go round instead.’  
‘So, did you want to go round with me and meet everybody there first?’ He’d hoped he’d have the chance to be with her on their own for a while before they wouldn’t get a second alone once everybody knew what was going on.  
‘Yeah, sounds good. Hang on, I’ll em, I’ll write my address down,’ Rae rooted around in her bag and scrawled her address and number down on a scrap piece of paper and handed it over.  
‘So I’ll ring you once I’ve got home tomorrow and come pick you up?’  
‘Ok, my mum’s back from her shift then so I should be fine.’  
‘Right, great.’ It got quiet not long after as the lights dimmed and everyone around them started to sleep.  
‘What were you listening to, before?’ Rae’s voice was just above a whisper while the air hostesses passed out pillows and bobbled blankets down the darkened aisle. ‘You were listening to your CD player earlier.’  
‘This,’ he reached into his bag for it and passed her his earphones and pressed play for her. Rae listened for a few moments and pulled a face.  
‘What?’  
‘I took you for someone with taste,’ she teased.  
‘I have taste, better than you do apparently. Some of them,’ he tapped on the track on the back of the CD, ‘are underrated as.’ Truthfully a few of them reminded him of home, something his dad might like that didn’t make him want to stick his head in a cement mixer rather than have to listen to while he’d been homesick.  
‘If you say so,’ she made a doubtful face at him again. Finn gave her a smug shrug of his shoulders and jokingly looked affronted and moved to take the earphones back.  
‘I do,’ he nodded. ‘I know my music, this isn’t even mine. It’s for work’.  
‘Right,’ she scrunched her eyes up in mock agreement.  
‘It is.’  
‘I’ll have to take your word for it then. What do you do?’ She shifted round to face him so she could look at him again. ‘Did you get to do that radio slot?’  
‘No, well, kind of.’  
‘What d’you mean kind of?’  
‘I’m a runner at this station down in Manchester for a bit.’ He looked over at her from under his eyelashes. ‘I’m a sort of trainee, it just means I get to run about getting drinks and staying after work to sort out the next set when nobody else can be bothered.’  
‘You were right, you know about things coming up and that.’  
‘Can I get that in writing? Think my mum’s brain would explode.’ Finn laughed and the plane darkened down again so the only lights were the green stripes edging the aisle and the last dying light from the sky outside. Over Finn’s shoulder she could see the streetlights dot the landscape below them. ‘Remind me to introduce you to some decent tunes, I’ve got stuff in my bag back down there,’ she looked down to where she’d been sitting earlier, ‘none of that crap on there.’ She pointed to his Diskman with a teasing look.  
‘Oi,’ he scoffed at her with a grin. ‘I told you it’s not my music,’ he stopped when he saw her raise an eyebrow, teasing him. ‘Right, you’re on, seeing as you think you’ve got that whole superior knowledge of music and all that’  
‘Well for starters less of the NME picks like that one’, she pointed to the third track on the list. ‘They’re shit.’  
‘I’ll keep that in mind’, he scrunched his eyes in agreement, ‘but yeah, they’re a bit crap. I’ll give you one point.’  
‘What else is on there?’ Her curiosity got the better of her.  
‘Here.’ Finn took his earphones back and split them between them to listen to the tracks. They moved close to each other so the wire wouldn’t get pulled and settled in beside each other as the first tracks flowed out. Neither was sure who reached a hand out first but their hands brushed together and Rae pulled away first, wondering if he’d meant to do that or if it was just wishful thinking.  
Not that either of them paid any of it any attention to the music. They each took turns skipping tracks and chanced stolen glances when the other looked away to the window or the floor; almost daring the other to meet their stare, neither quite making it, much to their mutual regret.  
Finn kept gravitating his gaze over to her almost subconsciously now. Watching her as she listened and tried to read which tracks she liked and which she didn’t. He was sure she caught him out a couple of times. She was so bright, it made looking at her difficult.  
Neither of them wanted to push their so far ridiculous luck. Things like this didn’t just happen, that he had a second chance-well they did- Finn thought, just not to him, but he also knew he’d be an idiot not to take a chance when the universe seemed to be on their side.  
The pressure built up in his chest till it threatened to burst out of him if he wanted it to or not. His leg bounced a few times in his seat and she looked over at him over the corner of the lyric booklet to check he was alright. He watched as she skipped through the last track before starting from the beginning again and slid her earphone back on and close her eyes over to the music. Giving it her full concentration.  
Finn chewed the inside of his cheek as he thought it over in his mind. If he didn’t ask then he might never get the chance to again. If he didn’t ask he’d spend the rest of his life wondering what could have been, he’d be a grumpy old git in a nursing home wondering what could have happened over compulsory bingo games and shuffling about in naff slippers. He had to know.  
Once he settled it in his mind he thought over the words. What if she felt like she was cornering her here? What would he do if she said no? He’d be stuck staring out of the window wishing he could be sucked out of the airlock. He had to try, at least then he would know.  
‘I was thinking’, he blurted out all at once. Too late to take it back or come up with something better. He trailed it off just as Rae opened her eyes again and looked over at him properly when he lost any semblance of hope for saying anything coherent.  
‘Yeah?’ She pulled the headphone away from her ear.  
‘I was thinking,’ he tried again, a bit louder this time, ‘if you wanted to get some coffee or something like that at some point, since we’re going to be back to Stamford. We could go somewhere later on.’ he swallowed down as his chest felt tight. ‘I mean properly, like, like–not at The Swan or a café or anywhere. I mean somewhere good where we could talk, properly, just us.’  
‘What, like a date?’ Finn took a glance over at her to see her shift herself over in her seat to be nearer to him, feeling dazed.  
‘If you wanted to.’  
‘Why?’ The word tumbled out of her mouth in disbelief. Finn took it that she didn’t understand why he’d even ask, she probably didn’t even think of him like that.  
‘You don’t have to,’ he turned his gaze down towards his lap, ‘I just thought that- I’ve really liked talking to you, I like you. I wanted to ask you since you left for Tunisia, don’t know why I didn’t. I was being thick.’  
‘No, you weren’t.’  
He looked up at that and hoped. ‘Fancy it?’  
‘Yeah,’ Rae nodded emphatically, her face breaking into a full smile.  
‘Yeah?’ He wanted to make sure he’d heard her right and to see her smile that brightly at him like that again.  
‘Yes,’ Rae laughed and gave him a nudge against his shoulder. ‘I was waiting for you to ask me, last year. I should’ve said something but I knew you didn’t see me like that.’  
‘Didn’t see you like what?’  
‘You had a girlfriend and-and I just thought that you would think I was being weird or something, and it was really bad timing.’  
‘Why wouldn’t I see you like that?’  
‘I dunno,’ Rae pulled down on her shirt sleeve. I didn’t think I was your type. ‘I just didn’t think it was gonna happen,’ she shrugged. ‘Just being daft.’  
‘I thought about it, asking, all the time’ Finn admitted. ‘I wanted to.’  
‘You should’ve,’ she murmured before she realised she’d said it out loud.  
‘I know.’ His eyes fixed onto the Cupid’s bow on her lips. He tentatively brushed her hair away from her face, ran his hand through it and down the side of her face, scanning her eyes for permission.  
Rae closed the distance in answer. Her lips were on his and in that moment everything else dropped away and it was just the touch of her, her kiss. Rae gripped the front of his shirt encouragingly as it deepened and he groaned low in his throat. His hands brushed up against her soft skin and she unfolded for him completely. He couldn’t remember anything else from the rest of the flight. Just the soft curve of her jaw under the palm of his hand and the racing of his pulse.


End file.
